Dreaming

The other night I had this dream that I was back home and every time someone would ask me about Russia, I would start crying. Everyone thought it was because I was so happy to be home, but it was because I missed it so much. It hurts to think about leaving this place. It's now so much a part of me. Don't get me wrong, I cannot wait to see my family and friends and be back in Texas, but a part of me will always be here in Russia.

This dream made me realize that I have to continue living each day to it's fullest. I have to remember the reason I'm here and to do my best to not waste anytime. Life is so short and I've been given a huge task!

Father, I'm leaning on you and trusting you to help me do your will!

I'm still a plow.

I've said many times that I feel like I'm a plow here in Vlad and that the Father is using me to dig up the hard soil, after chipping away the concrete, to turn it and to get to the nutrients underneath. Well, I'm starting to realize that isn't always the most comfortable thing to be, I'm not sure that I want to be a plow anymore. It's not always comfortable to have to speak the truth to old beliefs. I've been put in an awkward situation, and I don't like it, but that's where I am. It's what I've been called to do and I know that Father will help me through it. But just for the record, it's not the most comfortable place to be when dealing with friends.

A Tale of Two Brothers

Cain and Abel, we've all heard the story of one brother killing the other brother. But why, why did he do it? The Bible mentions that Cain didn't place God first in his life. You can see that in the way that he didn't bring God the first and best of his crops, "in the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord" (Gen. 4:3) Where Abel brought the Lord part of his firstborn, well how did it make Cain look? Abel immediately thought of God and of thanking him, where Cain eventually came around to thanking him. So what happens, Cain became jealous of Abel because the Lord looked on Abel's offering with favor.

It's amazing that even though God warned Cain of Satan seeking him out and trying to make him sin, he still didn't pause and take a look at his actions. Instead, he invited his brother out to the field and killed him. He killed him! God told him, "But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it." -Genesis 4:7

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding...there it is for you Cain! God laid it out for you! Plan and simple. God straight up warned him, and he didn't even stop and listen. Wow. It makes me wonder when God Himself has said the same words to me, and I've ignored them? Why didn't I listen to His still small voice?

For Cain, he didn't listen because he was angry and had a bad attitude and was jealous of his brother.

Why didn't I listen?

Of course, I haven't killed one of my brothers, but what sin could've been avoided and mastered if only I'd listen to the Father?

Ruth

I want to be like Ruth, I want to believe so strongly in my beliefs and convictions that I would be willing to walk away from not only my family and friends but from my way of life, from everything familiar, and leave my culture behind. I've already done that to some extent, but not fully, not like Ruth. I have modern conveniences that help me, and I can always hop on a plane and be home the next day. She didn't have that. When Ruth left Naomi, she didn't say goodbye for a year or two, she said goodbye. All she had was Naomi and a future of working hard and struggling each day to provide for the two of them. It wasn't the brightest future, yet she went willingly.

I want to be like Ruth, I want to have that much faith, enough faith to leave it all behind and to even embrace a life of hardships and hard work, to serve Him.

I am a plow.

I hate it when I can’t sleep. I’ve always been a night owl, so I love to stay up late, but occasionally, when I’m lying there in bed and I’m trying to go to sleep and idea pops into my mind. Most of the time it’s about the day or it’s some feeling that I had and that I need to think and pray through. Well, tonight it’s two stories. These two stories tell about how God is working in little ways, ways that I don’t always see. Ways that I don’t really think of as big or gigantic, but then I’m reminded that more than likely my job is the job as the plow, not the harvester. I’m not working in countries where you barely mention the Fathers name and the harvest is ready. Nope, that’s not Europe.

-----------------------------------------------
I had the opportunity to meet a new friend this last week, his name is George. Throughout the day and through our conversations I had the feeling that he was spiritually searching. When it came time to go home, I found myself alone with him in the taxi. He asked me if the reason I couldn’t hang out on Sunday was because of church, and I said yes. I had to change our plans because I would’ve had to miss church. I explained to him that I do not attend an Orthodox church and he said, “Oh I know”. I wasn’t really sure if I should take the conversation a little deeper, but I could feel the spirit nudging me so I asked him, “Do you go to church?” He told me that he used to go to church and his dad used to be a pastor. I pressed a little deeper and asked him why his dad wasn’t a pastor anymore. He told me that his dad had died of a heart attack. I gathered from the conversation that he doesn’t go anymore since his father’s death, but I also learned that his brother is still active in church and is even a minister. I wasn’t able to take the conversation too much farther because we arrived at my house, but I did make sure that he knew he was invited to church and that it is an awesome church with tons of college students.

Please pray for my new friend. Pray that he starts to seek the Father and that he will know Him intimately. Pray that he will be bold and show up at church while I’m here so I can introduce him to the people our age. Pray that the Father will use him to reach his lost friends.

Another friend, Stefan (name has been changed), called me the other night and wanted to hang out one day this week. We were busy making plans and out of nowhere he asks me if I was going to church on Sunday. I told him yes, and then came that debate in my head, should I invite him, or should I just let him bring it up if he wants to go. But I felt that little nudge again, and I said, "Well, why do you want to know? Do you want to come with me?" He said, "Yes, of course."

Okay so at this point I'm just a little shocked. That wasn't the answer I was expecting. I told him about my church and the times we meet and he was sad to hear that we only had church on Sunday mornings. He works on Sunday and only has the evenings free. He asked me, "You only go to church on Sundays? That's it?" I wanted so bad to be back home so I could've said well no, I actually go on Wednesdays as well, but churches are a little different here. I could tell that he really wanted to come with me.

Please pray for Stefan and that his work schedule will change so he can start attending church. Pray that the Father will continue to work in his life and soften him and place questions in his heart. Pray that he will feel comfortable attending and that if he's not able to go with me that he will still be brave and go by himself.

So from these past two instances, I've come to fully realize, I am a plow.

Women vs Men

American women have fought so hard for independence and equality with men, and I think in doing so they have hurt themselves. After visiting several countries, I’ve noticed that we don’t have it so good as American women. I think that we have fought so hard to be equal that it’s affecting our relationships with men. In Russia, women are revered and they are valued, not just for their beauty, but also because they are more fragile and need protection from the evil of this world. Women are treasured.

Julie and I attended a women’s conference a few months ago and we got the biggest kick out of our friends. Most of these ladies are young married women, and when it came time to setup the room and move some pews around, and setup two tables, the women immediately started going through a list of men to call to help them move the pews and setup tables. I know of several women’s organizations in America that when something needs to be setup for a women’s event, the ladies themselves pull out the tables from storage and set them up, and they move around the pews or chairs all by themselves. Julie and I started laughing because we were used to moving things and we could have easily lifted the pews, moved them around, and setup the two tables. In America, we would have done so without stopping to think of what man to call to come move them. Our friends ended up not having to call anyone because two men from the church were dropping off their wives and we asked them to help. As Julie and I watched the men move the pews and setup the tables and I realized that they appreciated being helpful and useful to us. They liked solving our problems and being the man, being whom God made them to be, the helper and provider.

That night got me to thinking about how in America we miss out on so many opportunities as women to validate men and to appreciate them. It doesn’t have to be to call them up and ask them to setup a room for a women’s event, it’s the little things. We don’t appreciate them enough when they hold open doors for us and or give up a chair for us. It’s not often in America that this happens and yes it doesn’t always happen here in Russia, but I see it more, and I like it. I like being valued as a woman, just because I’m a woman. I like having someone offer their seat for me, or hold open a door for me. I like it when they offer to open that five-gallon bottle of water and I let them, even though I could have done it myself.

I can’t help but think of how much this would help marriages, let the man be the man and the woman be the woman. No more demanding for equality, they are stronger than us, let them be. Ladies sit back, enjoy being a woman, and appreciate the men you have in your life.

Walkin' On Water..okay technically it’s ice

Life in the Far East isn’t really hard, but it is harder to live out here. Often we have to go to two stores and a market to buy food or ingredients for daily life. Then what you buy you have to carry home. I’ve gotten used to the whole, how heavy is this now, and will I be able to walk home with it? Oh and with the ice it just makes things even lovelier! In a few places, the ice is very very thick.

In November, one day it got right around 33 degrees F and the ice started to melt and it was wonderful because I thought the ice would go away, oh boy was I wrong. Within a few hours, the temperature dropped and everything started freezing again. So what was slowly melting and was sorta a mushy/slushy material all of a sudden became hard frozen ice. In many places, I would say the ice is about 6 inches deep.

I’ve gotten pretty good with walking on ice, and I’ve slipped twice, once I did this little half fall and the second time I took someone down with me. It was my Russian friend Inna, and we both laughed, but after standing up and walking a distance we realized our legs hurt. But not because they were bruised from the fall, but because they were cold. It was New Years, I was being very Russian, and I decided to wear boots, black tights, a dress, and then a long sleeve black shirt underneath. All I had over the dress was my long Russian coat, scarf, hat, and gloves. Inna had on a very similar outfit and when we fell on the early New Years day morning, our poor barely covered legs got the worst of the fall. We got up and started inching our way to the car and all of a sudden, our legs felt like razors were slicing our legs, all over. You see, when our legs came into such close contact with the ice, that thin little layer of tights didn’t really do a good job of keeping our legs warm. But I did warm up soon when I finally made it to the car,but even when I got home twenty minutes later, my legs were still cold!

(these photos are from New Years)