I read today that for someone to be able to change and embrace the new, they have to first let go of the old. I understand this, and it sounds great and all, but it's not as simple as it seems.
What if someone hurt you? It's hard to let go of the past if that means letting go of the hurt. Yeah you need to get over it and forgive that person. But what happens when you forgive them? Does it mean that no one else knows or remembers what that person did to you?
I think that is why it's so hard to forgive someone who's hurt you. It's the fear that Satan uses to tell you that no one else will remember how badly that person treated you, OR if you forgive them, then the world will think that it was just a little incident and that you overreacted.
It's hard letting go, even after you've forgiven them. But, it's a needed step to embrace the new.
So, today, even though part of me is screaming not to(the sinfully human part), I will give up the hurt to God. I will let it go and let the Father deal with it.
I am embracing the new!
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Quest for Marshmallows...
The other day, we were driving down the road and I saw a sign advertising "Marshmallows, Made in the U.S.A.". Since then, every store that I've been in, I've looked and looked for them. After a few weeks, I gave up my search of the deliciously sugary, puffy bites of cloud.
Today, I was walking through a store, I happened to look over my shoulder at the aisle next to me, and there on the shelf were....MARSHMALLOWS!! They even have two sizes! Big ones and small ones!!! They are fresh and they even taste like the ones from the states, and aren't a cheap imitation of the real things!!
I think God is a lot like this when it comes to our future mate. So many of us single females, are actively searching and hunting down/stalking Mr. Right. It's time that we stopped looking, and started living this season of life that God has given us. Don't wait to live, start living now.
And, one day, while you are living your life and not out on the hunt, Mr. Right will just show up. He will be exactly what you need, and God will supply you with an amazing man of God that respects, loves, and cherishes you.
How refreshing it is, to just simply focus on what God has called us to do, rather than spending our time and effort on the quest for love.
Today, I was walking through a store, I happened to look over my shoulder at the aisle next to me, and there on the shelf were....MARSHMALLOWS!! They even have two sizes! Big ones and small ones!!! They are fresh and they even taste like the ones from the states, and aren't a cheap imitation of the real things!!
I think God is a lot like this when it comes to our future mate. So many of us single females, are actively searching and hunting down/stalking Mr. Right. It's time that we stopped looking, and started living this season of life that God has given us. Don't wait to live, start living now.
And, one day, while you are living your life and not out on the hunt, Mr. Right will just show up. He will be exactly what you need, and God will supply you with an amazing man of God that respects, loves, and cherishes you.
How refreshing it is, to just simply focus on what God has called us to do, rather than spending our time and effort on the quest for love.
Friday, December 9, 2011
All Things New
I love history and traveling and seeing old buildings, it's fascinating! I believe one of the reasons traveling to new places intrigues me is because I can walk where people have been walking for years. I can tour buildings that have been standing for hundreds of years, and touch the old bricks and imagine what life was like when they were put into place. Also, I love to know the history of the building. Yes, today, it might be a museum or a library, and maybe even a grocery store, but what was it originally?
When the architects drew up the plans for the building what was their intentions? What was the purpose of the building?
Russia has a lot of old buildings, and many of them were built during the old Soviet days. Most of these Soviet buildings aren't what I'd consider beautiful, but they do intrigue me, even though I see no aesthetic beauty in them. I love their history. Most of these old buildings were built so people could use them to spread Communism.
The school where I am living and working was actually built back in the Soviet days. The campus was used for youth camps where children were forced to attend each summer so they could be indoctrinated with Communist ideology.
About 11 years ago, Korean missionaries bought the land and buildings and turned it into a Christian International school. I love how something that was made to spread the old Soviet ways is being used to spread the Truth.
If God can do this with old buildings, what can He do with you?
When the architects drew up the plans for the building what was their intentions? What was the purpose of the building?
Russia has a lot of old buildings, and many of them were built during the old Soviet days. Most of these Soviet buildings aren't what I'd consider beautiful, but they do intrigue me, even though I see no aesthetic beauty in them. I love their history. Most of these old buildings were built so people could use them to spread Communism.
The school where I am living and working was actually built back in the Soviet days. The campus was used for youth camps where children were forced to attend each summer so they could be indoctrinated with Communist ideology.
About 11 years ago, Korean missionaries bought the land and buildings and turned it into a Christian International school. I love how something that was made to spread the old Soviet ways is being used to spread the Truth.
If God can do this with old buildings, what can He do with you?
Saturday, October 22, 2011
His Gracious Provision
Lately, I've been conflicted on what comes next in life. Yes, I know that my last blog post also talked about this, so as you can see, it's really been on my mind.
Some things are becoming clearer, and it has been made evidently clear to me that I needed to get out of Dodge! God wanted me to get away. I needed a time to heal, a time to restore my spirit, and God in His abundant goodness, foresaw everything in the future, and laid this dream of returning to Russia on my heart long before I ever foresaw the need to retreat. How amazing is the Father to provide for His children, and to prepare well in advance a course for them that provides protection and a chance to renew their spirit?! Sitting here typing this, I am amazed at the Father, and am so grateful. He knew what I needed when I had no idea what to do next. He knew and He provided.
Why didn't I seek God when I needed help? For about a year now, I've been reading through the Old Testament, and time and time again, I've read how God provided for His people. He provided, even when they didn't deserve it, even when they didn't seek or trust Him. He is definitely more patience than I ever would be, and because of His patience, I am seeing a difference in myself. I'm healing and thankfully there won't be a horrible scar left on my soul, and the wound isn't festering with bitterness anymore.
Thank you God for your provision, for knowing what I need when I don't even know I need it yet!
Because He has been gracious with me in this, I'm putting more faith in Him for my future, there will be less doubting taking place in this heart!
Psalm 147
He Heals the Brokenhearted
"1 Praise the LORD! For it is good to sing praises to our God;
for it is pleasant, and a song of praise is fitting.
2The LORD builds up Jerusalem;
he gathers the outcasts of Israel.
3He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
4He determines the number of the stars;
he gives to all of them their names.
5 Great is our Lord, and abundant in power;
his understanding is beyond measure.
6The LORD lifts up the humble;
he casts the wicked to the ground.
7 Sing to the LORD with thanksgiving;
make melody to our God on the lyre!
8He covers the heavens with clouds;
he prepares rain for the earth;
he makes grass grow on the hills.
9He gives to the beasts their food,
and to the young ravens that cry.
10His delight is not in the strength of the horse,
nor his pleasure in the legs of a man,
11but the LORD takes pleasure in those who fear him,
in those who hope in his steadfast love..."
Some things are becoming clearer, and it has been made evidently clear to me that I needed to get out of Dodge! God wanted me to get away. I needed a time to heal, a time to restore my spirit, and God in His abundant goodness, foresaw everything in the future, and laid this dream of returning to Russia on my heart long before I ever foresaw the need to retreat. How amazing is the Father to provide for His children, and to prepare well in advance a course for them that provides protection and a chance to renew their spirit?! Sitting here typing this, I am amazed at the Father, and am so grateful. He knew what I needed when I had no idea what to do next. He knew and He provided.
Why didn't I seek God when I needed help? For about a year now, I've been reading through the Old Testament, and time and time again, I've read how God provided for His people. He provided, even when they didn't deserve it, even when they didn't seek or trust Him. He is definitely more patience than I ever would be, and because of His patience, I am seeing a difference in myself. I'm healing and thankfully there won't be a horrible scar left on my soul, and the wound isn't festering with bitterness anymore.
Thank you God for your provision, for knowing what I need when I don't even know I need it yet!
Because He has been gracious with me in this, I'm putting more faith in Him for my future, there will be less doubting taking place in this heart!
Psalm 147
He Heals the Brokenhearted
"1 Praise the LORD! For it is good to sing praises to our God;
for it is pleasant, and a song of praise is fitting.
2The LORD builds up Jerusalem;
he gathers the outcasts of Israel.
3He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
4He determines the number of the stars;
he gives to all of them their names.
5 Great is our Lord, and abundant in power;
his understanding is beyond measure.
6The LORD lifts up the humble;
he casts the wicked to the ground.
7 Sing to the LORD with thanksgiving;
make melody to our God on the lyre!
8He covers the heavens with clouds;
he prepares rain for the earth;
he makes grass grow on the hills.
9He gives to the beasts their food,
and to the young ravens that cry.
10His delight is not in the strength of the horse,
nor his pleasure in the legs of a man,
11but the LORD takes pleasure in those who fear him,
in those who hope in his steadfast love..."
Monday, October 10, 2011
Leaping Into The Unknown
It's hard to have faith. Oh it's easy to talk about, and it's easy to claim that you have it, but it's a lot harder when you have to step out in it. It's hard when you have to trust God and you need to make bold moves without complete assurance.
Lately, I've been questioning what comes next in my life. The last two decisions to live in Russia came pretty easily, but not always quickly. The first time, I heard God calling me to come to Russia, it took me about 10 years to get here! But, I knew my calling, it was clear, and God affirmed it several times, in several different ways. Then the second time, it was also clear and God provided everything, and thankfully it didn't take me nearly as long to get back here.
For this next chapter of life, I'm not really sure what to do. I have a general idea, but it seems almost impossible! It's going to take a lot of faith.
Faith to rely on God and His will for my life. Faith to know what I am desiring comes from God. Faith to be obedient and to take that huge leap into unknown territory.
So, I guess I'm asking for prayers that my desires are God's desires. Also, I want to be obedient and take that huge leap, even though I have no idea where I'm going to land!
Lately, I've been questioning what comes next in my life. The last two decisions to live in Russia came pretty easily, but not always quickly. The first time, I heard God calling me to come to Russia, it took me about 10 years to get here! But, I knew my calling, it was clear, and God affirmed it several times, in several different ways. Then the second time, it was also clear and God provided everything, and thankfully it didn't take me nearly as long to get back here.
For this next chapter of life, I'm not really sure what to do. I have a general idea, but it seems almost impossible! It's going to take a lot of faith.
Faith to rely on God and His will for my life. Faith to know what I am desiring comes from God. Faith to be obedient and to take that huge leap into unknown territory.
So, I guess I'm asking for prayers that my desires are God's desires. Also, I want to be obedient and take that huge leap, even though I have no idea where I'm going to land!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Blisters
It's amazing how God can use two blisters to bring you closer to a prickly co-worker. Friday, I decided to wear this pair of cute flats to work, by the middle of the morning, I knew it was a mistake. I had a blister on each heel.
My days are pretty much packed with one class after another, and I knew I didnt have time to run back to my room to change my shoes. When my next class arrived, my prickly co-worker also arrived with them. As we were working together in the classroom, I decided to ask her if the school doctor had any band aids, and from there we started talking about shoes and wearing high heels (both of us hate them). We found something in common, and by the end of the class, we were smiling and laughing. I never thought I would be thankful for blisters!
This was a little victory, because I know that come Monday, there is a good chance that it might not be all smiles and laughter, but I will continue to pray for her. I want her to know the joy that only comes from God! I want her to be able to find joy in her life as it is now, even though it isn't what she has always dreamed and longed for. I pray for her to have peace and to thrive in the place that God has planted her!
Will you please pray this for my prickly co-worker as well? Let's see what happens when "two or more are gathered in His name".
My days are pretty much packed with one class after another, and I knew I didnt have time to run back to my room to change my shoes. When my next class arrived, my prickly co-worker also arrived with them. As we were working together in the classroom, I decided to ask her if the school doctor had any band aids, and from there we started talking about shoes and wearing high heels (both of us hate them). We found something in common, and by the end of the class, we were smiling and laughing. I never thought I would be thankful for blisters!
This was a little victory, because I know that come Monday, there is a good chance that it might not be all smiles and laughter, but I will continue to pray for her. I want her to know the joy that only comes from God! I want her to be able to find joy in her life as it is now, even though it isn't what she has always dreamed and longed for. I pray for her to have peace and to thrive in the place that God has planted her!
Will you please pray this for my prickly co-worker as well? Let's see what happens when "two or more are gathered in His name".
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Assurance
So, I've been back in Russia for about a week, and I've had to remind myself several times that life moves at a different pace around here. It's not that anything bad as happened, it's just that things don't happen when I want them to! Ha, imagine that, life moving on and advancing at it's own pace without our approval or input!
I have enjoyed being back in Russia, but it has been different. I'm in a new location, working with a new set of people, and about a 10 to 15 minute hike to the nearest bus stop, and then to top it all off, about a 30 minute or an hour (depends on the traffic) drive into the city.
All this to say, life is good, but different. I really do like my new apartment and the new situation that God has placed me in, but it is different. Although, if it wasn't different, I wouldn't have sought the Father like I have, and I wouldn't have found the assurance of knowing this is exactly where God has placed me for the next couple of months.
I have enjoyed being back in Russia, but it has been different. I'm in a new location, working with a new set of people, and about a 10 to 15 minute hike to the nearest bus stop, and then to top it all off, about a 30 minute or an hour (depends on the traffic) drive into the city.
All this to say, life is good, but different. I really do like my new apartment and the new situation that God has placed me in, but it is different. Although, if it wasn't different, I wouldn't have sought the Father like I have, and I wouldn't have found the assurance of knowing this is exactly where God has placed me for the next couple of months.
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